The wisdom of Google and a pink koala

Three days ago baby C had her first go of pumpkin. She was initially surprised then quite enthusiastic, especially when given the spoon and allowed to smear it on her face. E was excited beyond measure; for some reason giving the baby proper food has loomed large on the list of things she wants to do as a big sister. We dispensed the first serving mid-morning and then sat C in the highchair with us at dinner that night and I had one of those heart-melting moments looking at my little family all sitting at the table together. We repeated the exercise the next day, but replaced one lot of pumpkin with a serving of baby cereal.

The two nights following pumpkin and baby cereal were two of the worst nights C has ever had. Up every two and a half hours on the dot - you could have set a clock by her. Seemingly starving each time, wanting 40 minute feeds.

Now it might be a case of "getting what you Google" but when I asked he who knows everything "can starting solids make baby sleep worse" various websites assured me that it can if the baby is less than six months old or for some other reason has trouble digesting the new food. C was 22.5 weeks old as at the first serve of pumpkin. She is interested in our food, has good head control, can sit easily in a high chair (with a bit of padding) and has more than doubled her birth weight. I genuinely thought she was ready, although she was not quite six months. (And we started E much earlier and she was fine, and what kind of second-time parent would I be if I didn't endlessly compare my children?) Anyhow, yesterday I decided that it was worth reverting to milk only to see what happened, and last night was significantly better. Still multiple wakings, but much quicker feeds and a decent uninterrupted stretch.

But her day sleeps? Well, they are pretty dreadful. The only way she has ever gone to sleep during the day has been by being patted into oblivion on someone's shoulder. Then, if you are lucky and time it right ,you can sneak her into bed. Where she might stay, or she might not. Later the patting has been taking longer and longer, and she has been increasingly easy to disturb either on the shoulder or whilst being put down, or she just wakes a very short time later. Clearly she has no idea how to put herself back to sleep once she wakes up and ideally we need to find a way of putting her to sleep that involves her falling asleep in her cot rather than in someone's arms. And because C is the poor second child, even sticking to the minimum required for E's weekly routine, C gets dragged out and about a lot, which means she is often tireder than ideal by the time we are somewhere she can sleep. All of this I know, and none of this helps me figure out how to fix the situation.

After various further consultations with Mr Google yesterday I reluctantly chose one of the 600 self-settling techniques that he offered me and we attempted it this morning. It was the kind that advocates putting the baby into bed "sleepy but awake", leaving them to it and going in and out to whisper mindless platitudes and give quick pats if the baby yells, all of which is  eventually supposed to result in the baby giving up and going to sleep. We tried it, for about 35 minutes, whilst C got more and more upset, and ended in hysterical crying. Either she is too stubborn or I am too soft, but I then picked her up and patted her to sleep on my shoulder. I then tried to put her down and she woke up. So I picked her up and patted some more. And then put her down. She stayed down for about 10 minutes and is now up again and on my lap, having had a grand total of about 35 minutes sleep (plus 35 minutes of crying, plus 20 minutes of patting).

All of which is why I am now walking around with a pink koala shoved down my shirt, because a "comfort object that smells like Mum" is Mr Google's next suggestion. Stay tuned for the results... or for my next physio bill brought on by endless rounds of patting a 7.5kg baby on my shoulder.

Big sister

For the longest time E wanted a sibling, specifically, a baby sister. She would tell strangers in the park "I'm getting a baby" - and they would look questioningly at me because this was months before we were even attempting to create one for her! Once I was pregnant we put off telling her the good news until after the 19 week scan, partly to be as confident as possible that everything was going to be ok, partly so we could tell her whether she could expect a baby brother or sister, and partly because we figured 4.5 months was plenty long enough to listen to her talking about nothing else.

When we did tell her, the reaction was even better than we expected. She got all wide eyed and said "my wish has come true!" And then she did talk about (pretty much) nothing else for the next 4.5 months. She told her good news to friends and family, people in the park, the lady at the supermarket checkout. She talked to the baby in my tummy and sang her songs. She speculated endlessly about what the baby would be called, with her preferred options being Rainbow and Lola (for anyone who knows our surname, it sounds hilarious when teamed with Lola - if one is keen on bestowing a name fit for a stripper upon their child). We wound up telling her that she could "put names on the list" but that it was for Mummy and Daddy to ultimately choose which one we wanted. Her only worry was that when she stayed with Granny and Grandad whilst Mummy and Daddy were in the hospital that they wouldn't let her visit as often as she wanted.

E stayed with my parents for five nights whilst we were in hospital. We didn't tell her ahead of time why she was going to Granny and Grandad's; she just thought she was having a sleepover because it was school holidays. The afternoon that C was born Grandad, Granny and E were our first visitors. E was wearing the "I'm a Big Sister" t-shirt we had ordered her and carrying a little balloon on a stick for the baby (and a big Dora the Explorer balloon for herself that she had apparently wrangled out of indulgent grandparents). Having spent seven hours or so in the company of a newborn baby my immediate thought upon seeing her was "who is this giant? what on earth have Granny and Grandad been feeding you in the last 24 hours?" She sat on a chair and her expression when Granny put the longed-for baby sister on her lap was wise, curious, vulnerable, tender. Entirely heart-catching.

Since then, the reality of having a baby in the house does not appear to have disappointed E. She still speaks adoringly of the baby and is only occasionally jealous (one or two presents have appeared that she wishes were hers and although she doesn't articulate it, Granny is not allowed to pay too much attention to the baby when E is around). Her biggest treat is to be allowed to sit on the couch and hold the baby on her lap, and I try to accommodate this request as often as possible. She loves to "help" change the baby's nappy, mainly by jumping in the baby's face and furiously shaking and squeaking various rattles and other toys "to distract her." She draws endless pictures and makes multiple little crafty presents for the baby. She talks proudly of being my "helper" and at four and a bit, she actually is helpful - she can pass and fetch things and the fascination is reciprocated - C stares and stares at her and always fusses less in the car if E is in the back seat too.

Having C join the family has been a really lovely experience for all of us and I truly hope that the beautiful interaction we have seen between our two girls over the last three months continues as they grow up.