Screaming and Panadol and refusals to sleep from 11:00pm to 1:00am. A return to midnight milk to wash down the Panadol. After five minutes or so of frantic sucking Little E looked at me, somewhat perplexed and said "no mo?" And I thoguht "too right there's no more, you're trying to have dessert only six hours after you had dinner and the poor boobs aren't used to it anymore. They thought they didn't have to come up with the goods for another 18 hours. So yeah, there's no more. Sorry about that." But she still decided that chomping away even if there wasn't much there to chomp on was worth it for another 20 minutes or so, until I had had enough and took it away. Whereupon she screamed some more. I was so cold from what felt like hours of sitting by the cot patting and sssshhing and sneaking to the door only to have the protesting start again that when it finally ended I needed a hot water bottle to defrost with.
Blah. So this morning is the morning after all that. Where despite D's generously letting me sleep in a bit, although I'm sure he didn't really get much more sleep that I did, I am sitting here feeling tired and grumpy and unenthused about the whole full time mothering thing. And playing on the computer whilst E variously grizzles on the floor next to me, torments the cat and dumps folders full of paper on the floor. And I keep swearing I would stop playing on the computer whilst she is awake and needing my attention. Blah. Am going to go attend to those scattered papers and stop being a bad mumma.
2 comments:
Oh, deary, I have been there. Boy, I have been there. And I am thankful that I have read this because it reminds me that I really don't want to do it all again. Hope you feel better. You'll get rest again someday. I promise.
"No mo?" that's so cute. Poor poppet, hope it's all good soon.
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